Sunday, February 12, 2017

What 27 Taught Me

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This weekend I celebrated my birthday surrounded by old and new friends, family and loved ones. It included basketball (my friends are great sports), wonderful food, and lots of hugs and laughs. I couldn't be more thankful for these relationships or for everything that this past year has taught me. It has been a growing year, a teaching year, or maybe I'm just finally maturing and starting to reflect more. Whatever it is, life has taught me a lot and I thought I'd summarize some of the key lessons.

I'm grateful for views like these
Gratitude is the first step to happiness
. It can seem so counter-intuitive to practice gratitude when nothing seems to be going right. Some days are harder than others, but there's always beauty to be found somewhere or something that others would love to have. Consequently the more we acknowledge and appreciate what's in front of us, the more beautiful it all becomes.

For the longest time I lived under the mindset of "I'll be happier when I ______ (move, am in a relationship, can travel more...) Realizing and embracing how backwards that is can be the most freeing thing, because you live fully now. I'm happy now because I'm grateful for my fulfilling career, the loving and fabulous friendships I have, my supportive family, this morning's amazing sunrise, how much fun I had last weekend at the Super Bowl party. Don't put happiness on hold.

This also applies to expressing gratitude. Think back to the last time someone truly and sincerely thanked you for something you said or did. It probably had a positive impact on your day. I've often assumed that loved ones and friends knew how much they meant to me. The gratitude for those relationships needs to be communicated.

Pay attention to the patterns. Listen to what something is trying to teach you. That thing or situation that just won't go away, the hurt and pain that lingers, listen to it. What is the fear telling you about yourself? Learn from it, or it may keep repeating itself in one form or another.

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." -Buddha 
Anger isn't your friend. It sucks that they did that to you or are treating you this way. I'm sorry because the whole thing is incredibly unfair. Acknowledge the right to be upset, process it, then let it go. Again and again, each time it comes up. I've found that it's powerful to pray for or send positive vibes to the person or group of people you feel wronged by. Not in the condescending "I hope they see the error of their ways and start being a better person" kind of way, but in the "I wish them the best in their career and relationships, and a life full of joy and happiness" kind of way. Another way is to recognize their humanity. The majority of people would never intentionally cause another person pain.

Solitude is powerful, healing, and restorative.  Boston taught me that. Being alone is the key to processing and feeling everything I talked about above. Getting away from all the noise and chaos allows you to really listen to yourself and to hone into your intuition. Solitude is great for cultivating gratitude and creative energy. Once I began embracing the time I had alone, I let go of the fear of it. It was all in my head anyway. 

You're never the only one nor are you wrong for feeling that way. I can't keep track of how many times over the past year I was silently internalizing emotions or situations that I didn't want to share with others. Then over dinner with friends or a conversation with a coworker I'd realize they were going through the same exact thing. I wasn't different or alone. We're all in this together.  So share your feelings and what you're going through with others, chances are they need to hear that. 

 What was your biggest lesson over the past year?

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